To Desire by Daniella Brodsky

Author:Daniella Brodsky [Brodsky, Daniella]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: DB Co.

* * *

I stopped for a coffee after the session. I had 20 minutes before the ferry left for Manly. The waiter brought my flat white with a pretty shell shaped chocolate, and I looked out over the harbour. I’d been here as a waitress at a fancy restaurant, the one where I reunited George and Flo last year, and I’d been here as George’s girlfriend, and now, here I was.

What was I now? Sure, I still cringed when I thought of how out of control I’d been with all my over-the-top interference, but I also was starting to believe what Dr. Nic had been teaching me these many months—that I still deserved happiness, and that it wasn’t so surprising that one day I’d finally had too much of pretending I was fine, and blown a gasket.

Now I had to readjust to a more realistic, long-term vision of myself. I didn’t have to be okay all the time. But I did have to be okay with not being okay. It was alright to share my weaknesses and problems with someone else. More than okay, it was necessary if I wanted to get close to someone. And as I looked out at the harbour, I knew for sure that I did. And the image that came directly to mind was Clancy.

I wasn’t going to make too much of that at the moment. Instead, I’d enjoy it and see where it went.

There were a couple of minutes to boarding, so I made my way to the ferry terminal. Ahead of me, a few schoolboys were in uniform, kicking around a hacky sack. I lost myself in the rhythm of their back and forth passes until I was startled by a hand at my shoulder.

“Sorry!” I heard, then whipped around. “Clancy!” He was in a dark suit with a classic striped tie. If he was the model for that suit, I definitely would have bought it—even if I had no one to give it to and it cost more than my rent. Holy smokes, he was ridiculously hot.

“Didn’t mean to startle you,” he said. “I’m glad to see you here.”

“Yeah? Me, too.” Oh, the dimple. It was even better in person than in my memory.

“That was fun the other night, wasn’t it?” He placed his hand on my arm to emphasize the point and shivers ran up my arm. I couldn’t stop myself from hopping my eyes up to meet his, gauge his reaction. He definitely noticed. And if I wasn’t mistaken, he liked it, too. He adjusted his stance and wound up slightly closer to me.

I nodded, didn’t trust myself to do any more without jumping into his arms and clamping on, koala-style.

“Would you want to meet up again?”

I was still nodding. I was a human bobble head. But I would not jump into his lap.

“—to talk about Chloe, of course?”

Was he smirking? Did I want him to be smirking? Yes, of course I did. Because I wanted him to ask me out to be with me.

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